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| Our team at 2:45 am at MSP International Airport |
I couldn’t be more excited to be on my way back to Haiti. I have such a special place in my heart for both Haiti, and the Haitian people. Almost exactly five months ago I was on my way for the very first time. It’s crazy to me how much in my life has changed since then. Last time I was on my way to Haiti I had no idea the challenges that were to come. Looking back it is so easy to see how closely God was making moves in my life.
Last February, I was on my way to Haiti, for the very first time through Healing Haiti. Healing Haiti was started by a couple from my church (Eagle Brook) in 2006. After going on a mission trip Jeff Gacek and Alyn Shannon decided to dedicate their lives to the small country of Haiti, so close to the United States, yet so far away in terms of development in every sense of the word. Haiti needed help. Badly. Jeff and Alyn answered the call put on their hearts and sold their businesses off one by one. Healing Haiti became a non-profit that works to help the impoverished people of Haiti with a focus on children and families.
I was so very fortunate to be lead on my first trip down by Tom and Shelley Gacek. Tom is Jeff’s brother. I knew before we had left that Alyn had lost her two year battle to breast cancer, I remember when they announced it in church. It hit me hard, knowing that I was going down to Haiti through this wonderful program that was Alyn’s dream. I went to Haiti knowing how the world just lost an angel on Earth and heaven got a bit more crowded. I can very much picture in my head the first time I walked into the guesthouse, how Alyn was all over this place. The colors she loved; purple, green, blue, all bright and cheery colors. Immediately as I entered the guesthouse for the first time I was drawn straight ahead to a little table with a bunch of cards with Alyn’s picture, and bookmarks made in her memory. I distinctly remember taking time to look at these and being devastated for her family, thinking how terribly horrible it must be to have seen her in so much pain and lose her so early. Several times on the trip I found myself asking Tom or Shelley about Alyn and her breast cancer, and her dreams for Haiti. It really was a week where Alyn was constantly on my mind. And breast cancer was a big part of it.
I returned from Haiti expecting to see my dad waiting for me at the airport. My dad has always loved picking me up from the airport. I remember turning on my phone as soon as we landed and seeing a text message from my dad saying that my brother would be there. I knew something was wrong immediately. I walked through the door of my parents house and my mom was on the couch. She seemed a little under the weather, like she had a cold or something. We started chatting about Haiti when she reached her hand up to adjust her sweater and I saw a hospital band on her wrist. "What is that?" I asked immediately. "Oh, nothing," she replied, trying to change the subject. I wasn't letting her off the hook that easy. She had to tell me and went on to say that she had a biopsy on her breast and that we were waiting for the results. I was felt my stomach drop, but I also felt like there was no way she would have breast cancer. Three days later, March 3rd, I was at my Haiti teammate's house for a reunion dinner. Keep in mind that we had only been back in the United States for 3 days and already found ourselves craving each other's company. We were all having trouble assimilating back to our normal lives and everything that includes after our experiences in Haiti. We wanted to be around our new Haitian family that knew exactly what we were each going through. I knew that the results from my mom's biopsy could be back that day. Just as we were all about to leave Lisa's, my mom called me and asked if I was coming home soon. And that's when I knew. The tone of her voice and the call said it all. My mom had breast cancer.
Devastation begins. Coming back from Haiti and finding out even the possibility of breast cancer in the same night was crippling. But hearing the actual words that the results were positive was an absolute wrecking ball to my heart and soul. I had already been wrecked in Haiti. I saw people in conditions that we, as human beings, should never allow to happen to each other. I was a shell of myself that was already crumbled to the core. But just when you think things can't get worse, they do. A few more wrecking balls knocked me down and I was nothing but dust in the dirt.
As I sit in Haiti now, almost 5 months later, you wouldn't believe the amount of rebuilding that has been done in me. My relationship with God is at a level that is indescribable to me 5 months ago. I've always had a strong relationship and belief in God. But, I had no idea that I could feel the way I do now. And yes, I am again in a place (Haiti) that will wreck me again. It will wreck me to a point worse than my first trip. I guarantee it. And yes, my mom still has breast cancer. She is just about wrapping up her first round of chemotherapy but the road ahead is long and hard. But I have so much to be thankful for.
As I walked into the guesthouse today, I again, immediately walked to the small table with all of the reminders of Alyn and spend some time there reflecting and praying. This trip is extra difficult for me emotionally. It was very tough to leave my mom, knowing that I would miss one of her chemo sessions and wouldn't be around for 8 days. But I know that this is all a part of His plan. I now I am right where I need to be. As Alyn always asked herself, and as the bookmarks in her memory (see picture) remind us, "What is God trying to teach me?" I am figuring that out slowly but surely. As of right now I know that God is teaching me that my relationship with him has to be my first priority. And after that, I will never choose anything over my mom, over my family. Nothing. On the back of the bookmark is one of Alyn's favorite quotes by John Wesley. It says:
"Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
and in all the WAYS you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the PEOPLE you can,
as long as you ever can."
I think that this is another example of what God is trying to teach me. And I am trying to do just that.
Tonight our team made cross necklaces to wear out tomorrow and give to the children while we deliver clean water to the slums of Cite Soleil. I made a pink cross, for breast cancer, to wear in honor of my mom and Alyn's memory as well.
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| Breast Cancer Cross and Alyn's Bookmarks |
Sending lots and lots of love from Haiti,
Sarah
P.S. - Please don't forget about my fight for breast cancer while I am here in Haiti! I have a long way to go to reach my new $15,000 goal!!! If you can help with even $1 please visit my Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure page below. THANK YOU!!!
P.P.S. - If you would like to follow our entire team and see what we are up to in Haiti, please visit the link below.
Wonderful post, Sarah! Thinking about you and praying for you while you are in Haiti...being God's hands and feet. Love you!
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